It happened yesterday. A journey that began two years ago brought us to Midway Airport. There he sat in a wheelchair ready to be pushed off towards treatment and healing and there I stood heavy hearted and desperate. I said, "Please don't go", and I heard in reply, "I wish I didn't have to. I'll be home as soon as I can." I walked off in dressed in my long magenta winter coat to a cold garage and a car with an empty passenger seat.
Yesterday I sent my dearest friend, my beloved, my husband, to Florida. Right now we are in the thick of in Chicago. Bitterly cold, windy, and snowing almost daily. Those of us stranded in this tundra could only wish for a tropical get away. I sent my husband off to get treatment for his diabetic ulcer that has plagued us for the last two years.
What I have learned is that men, unlike women, are not nuts about their health. They will ignore a problem until it has become an epidemic. This is what we are dealing with here. This is not just an ulcer on his foot that will not heal. We are facing is neuropathy, retina damage, erectile dysfunction and so much more. Here is a funny thing about feet: they are necessary for getting around.
Every day of our married life has been affected by my husband's health. We are unable to do any activity together that requires standing or walking. Occasionally we go to a movie or out to eat. There are so many things I would like to do with him that we cannot do. This seems simple and like no big deal but it is the biggest deal when days drag to weeks, months and years. Every vacation is a bust. Every day off leads no where but the couch.
I know that I am not the only one who feels low in this relationship. We have a shared sense of sadness. Mine is for the man of my dreams who is so obviously not living the life he wants to live. And his is for his bride who didn't know what exactly she was getting into.
We had been quite literally limping along until a few weeks ago when my husband lost his job. He had a job that allowed him to work from home and stay off his feet. Sounds ideal, right? Yes it was ideal for his health but not for his emotions. Then we got a call days before Christmas to say he was fired. As a couple who lives paycheck to paycheck this was not good news. Another job interview that followed weeks later offered deferred acceptance pending his foot be healed.
For the last few weeks I have been feeling rather low. I bounce between sort of angry and really angry. Reality became glaring and avoiding dealing with my husbands health as a first priority completely upended our life. We made the big decision to send him off to see an excellent physician in Florida. I do not know how long he will be gone. Perhaps months. I am devastated. I am wrecked.
Our tearful goodbye was missed on the airport wheelchair assistance professional who grabbed my husbands chair and pushed it towards the elevators before I could give him a hug. I just saw the back of his hat and the crutches he carried moving farther away. This was our goodbye. I am dying for a hello. I don't know when this will come.
Yesterday I sent my dearest friend, my beloved, my husband, to Florida. Right now we are in the thick of in Chicago. Bitterly cold, windy, and snowing almost daily. Those of us stranded in this tundra could only wish for a tropical get away. I sent my husband off to get treatment for his diabetic ulcer that has plagued us for the last two years.
What I have learned is that men, unlike women, are not nuts about their health. They will ignore a problem until it has become an epidemic. This is what we are dealing with here. This is not just an ulcer on his foot that will not heal. We are facing is neuropathy, retina damage, erectile dysfunction and so much more. Here is a funny thing about feet: they are necessary for getting around.
Every day of our married life has been affected by my husband's health. We are unable to do any activity together that requires standing or walking. Occasionally we go to a movie or out to eat. There are so many things I would like to do with him that we cannot do. This seems simple and like no big deal but it is the biggest deal when days drag to weeks, months and years. Every vacation is a bust. Every day off leads no where but the couch.
I know that I am not the only one who feels low in this relationship. We have a shared sense of sadness. Mine is for the man of my dreams who is so obviously not living the life he wants to live. And his is for his bride who didn't know what exactly she was getting into.
We had been quite literally limping along until a few weeks ago when my husband lost his job. He had a job that allowed him to work from home and stay off his feet. Sounds ideal, right? Yes it was ideal for his health but not for his emotions. Then we got a call days before Christmas to say he was fired. As a couple who lives paycheck to paycheck this was not good news. Another job interview that followed weeks later offered deferred acceptance pending his foot be healed.
For the last few weeks I have been feeling rather low. I bounce between sort of angry and really angry. Reality became glaring and avoiding dealing with my husbands health as a first priority completely upended our life. We made the big decision to send him off to see an excellent physician in Florida. I do not know how long he will be gone. Perhaps months. I am devastated. I am wrecked.
Our tearful goodbye was missed on the airport wheelchair assistance professional who grabbed my husbands chair and pushed it towards the elevators before I could give him a hug. I just saw the back of his hat and the crutches he carried moving farther away. This was our goodbye. I am dying for a hello. I don't know when this will come.